rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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