No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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