thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
