I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
