Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sponge bath it is.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
