giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm at about main and main street
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
