talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
