matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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