dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
