I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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