the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
