this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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