So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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