One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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