i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize