hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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