So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
