I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
