O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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