that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize