KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
