god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
thus making me awesome and them whores
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize