Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
