i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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