Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
