I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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