do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
