Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
