She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
