I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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