shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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