a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
