Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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