Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
