How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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