New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
