i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
