You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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