Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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