you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
