so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
