thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
