he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
