Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
