If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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