And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
