How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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