just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize