Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
