I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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