Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
