We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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