I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you would pick up someone in the library
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
