I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
