My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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