none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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