Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
