I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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