puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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