I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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