I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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