You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
