I just cut my nipple shaving
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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