I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
