i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
