OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
