were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
