don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
