Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
