16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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