Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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