I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
