I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
