I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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