I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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