Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
