i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
